Saturday, October 30, 2010

Drejt Përkeqsimit** ~ Samuel Beckett (1984) I

Ec. Vazhdo. Shprehu. Disi përpara. Deri assessi përpara. Kurrsesi e thënë.

Thuaj për të thënën. E pathënë. Prej tani thuaj për të pathënën.

Thuaj një trup. Ku asgjë. Asnjë mendim. Ku asgjë. Atë të paktën. Një vend. Ku asgjë. Për trupin. Që të jetë. Lëviz. Larg nga. Prapa. Jo. Jo larg. Jo prapa. Veç në vend. Qëndro. Nën të. Ende.

Gjithë prej së vjetrës. Kurrsesi asgjë tjetër. Sado përpiëesh. Sado dështon. S'ka rëndësi. Përpiqu përsëri. Dështo përsëri. Dështo më mirë.

Si fillim trupi. Jo. Së pari vendi. Jo. Fillimisht të dyja. Tani çdonjëra. Tani tjetra. I lodhur prej çdonjërës provo tjetrën. I lodhur prej saj përsëri i lodhur prej çdonjërës. Kështu në vazhdim. Disi në vazhdim. Derisa i lodhur prej të dyjave. Ngrihu dhe shko. Ku asnjëra. Vendi përsëri. Ku asgjë. Provo përsëri. Dështo përsëri. Më mirë përsëri. Ose më mirë të më së keqes. Dështo më keq përsëri. Akoma më keq përsëri. Derisa i lodhur për mirë. Ngrihu për mirë. Ku asgjë për mirë. Mirë dhe gjithçka.

Qëndron. çfarë? Po. Thuaj se qëndron. Duhej të ngrihej në fund dhe të qëndronte. Thuaj kocka. Asnjë kockë por thuaj kocka. Thuaj tokë. Asnjë tokë por thuaj tokë. Sikurse të thuash dhimbje. Jo mendje dhe dhimbje? Poho se kockat mund të dhembin derisa mos të kesh zgjidhje tjetër veç të qëndrosh. Disi ngritur dhe të rrish në këmbë. Ose më e mira e më të keqes mbetet. Thuaj mbeturinat e mendjes ku asgjë të mos lejojë dhimbjen. Dhimbja e kockave derisa pa zgjidhje veçse të ngrihesh dhe të qëndrosh. Disi ngritur. Disi qëndruar. Mbeturinat e mendjes ku asgjë për hir të dhimbjes. Këtu prëj kockash. Shembuj të tjerë nëse duhet nevoja. Të dhimbjes. Lehtësim prej. Ndryshim i.

Gjithë prej së vjetrës. Kurrsesi asgjë tjetër. Por asnjëherë kaq e dështuar. Më keq e dështuar. Me përkujdesje kurrsesi më keq e dështuar.

Dritë e zbehtë burim i paditur. Shquaj minimalisht. Nuk dalloj asgjë jo. Tepër shumë për të shpresuar. Ndoshta diçka e vogël. Më së shumti diçka e vogël.

Asnjë zgjedhje por të qëndrosh. Disi ngritur dhe në këmbë. Disi të qëndrosh. Atë ose të rënkosh. Psherëtima kaq e gjatë drejt rrugës së saj. Jo. Asnjë psherëtimë. Thjesht dhimbje. Thjesht në mbarim. Një kohë kur provo se si. Provo shiko. Provo thuaj. Si u shtri fillimisht. Më pas disi u gjunjëzua. Pak nga pak. Pastaj përpara prej këtej. Derisa ngritur më në fund. Jo tanimë. Dështo me më të mirë e më së keqes tani.

Tjetër. Thuaj tjetër. Kokë e zhytur në duar të sakatuara. Tepeja vertikalisht. Sy të shtrënguar. Vendi i të gjithëve. Fillesa e të gjithave.

Asnjë të ardhmë në këtë. Vaj*(mjerisht) po!

Qëndron. Shih në boshllëkun e zbehtë se si qëndron më në fund. Në dritën e zbehtë burim i paditur. Përpara syve të ulur. Sy të mbledhur. Sy zhbirues. Sy të mbledhur zhbirues.

Ajo hije. Dikur shtrirë. Tashmë në këmbë. Ai një trup? Po. Thuaj ai një trup. Disi në këmbë. Në zbrazëtinë e zbehtë.

Një vend. Ku asgjë. Një kohë kur provo shiko. Provo thuaj. Sa e vogël. Sa e pafund. Në ç'mënyrë nëse jo i pakufishëm i kufizuar. Që prej zbehtësisë. Jo tani. Dije më mirë tani. Paqartësoje më mirë tani. Dallo vetëm jo jashtë prej. Të mos diturit si të dallosh vetëm jo jashtë prej. Brenda veçse. Prandaj një tjetër. Një tjetër vend ku asgjë. Për ku njëherë që nga pa kthim. Jo. Asnjë vend veç atij njërit. Asnjë veç atij njërit ku asgjë. Që nga kurrë njëherë brenda. Disi brenda. Matanë të përtejmes. Jo prej andejmi në atë vend. Jo nga atjë në atë vend. Jo prej andejmi. Jo nga atje në atë vend.

Ku më pas por aty shih-

Shiko për t'u parë. E shmangur. Që tani shiko për t'u shmangur.

Ku më pas por aty shih tani-

Fillimisht mbrapa ktheu hijen në këmbë. Në zbrazëtinë e zbehtë shiko së pari si mbrapa ktheu hijen në këmbë. Ende.

**Titulli origjinal: Worstward Ho!

Demonographia ~ Collin de Plancy IV

40. Lechics, demons of the woods, a kind of satyr amonng the Russians who gave him a human bodyfrom the waist up with the horns, ears, and beard of a she-goat; and, from the waist down, the form of a goat.When they marched in the fields, they shrank themselves to the height of the grass; but when they ran in the forests, they grew to the size of the tallest trees. Their cries were frightful. They wandered around promenaders unceasingly, using a voice known to them and luring them to their caverns, wher they took pleasure intickling them almost to death.

41. Leonard, demon of the first order, grand master of the sabbaths, chief of the subaltern demons, inspector general of sorcery, black magic, and witches. He is often called "le Grand Negre" (The Black Man). he presides over the sabbathin the form of a goat from the waist up; he has three horns on his head, two fox-likecars, hair-like bristles, round eyes which were inflamed and wide open, a goat's beard, and a face on his butt. Witches adore him by kissing this lower face while holding a green candle in their hand.Sometimes he resembles a blood hound, or a beef, or a big black bird, or a tree trunk surmounted with a gloomy face. His feet, when he attends the sabbath, are always those of a goose. Meanwhile, experts who have seen the devil at the sabbath observe that he has no feet at all when he takes the form of a tree trunk and in other extraordinary circumstances. Leonard is taciturn and melancholic; but at all the assemblies of witches and devils where he is obliged to appear,he shows himself to advantage and makes use of a superb graveness.

42. Lucifer, name of the spirit who rules over the East, according to the opinion of the magicians. Lucifer was envoked on Monday in the middle of a circle in which was his name.He was content with a mouse or venison-bit as the price of his compliance. He was often taken for the king of hell, and, according to several demonomaniacs, he is superior to Satan.One says that he is perfectly facetious, and that one of his tricks is to pull witches off the brooms they were riding on to the sabbath and give them a ride pn his shoulders; this was attested to by the witches of Moira, is Sweden, in 1672. These same witches have affirmed that they had seen at the sabbath the same Lucifer in a gray habit, with blue arms and red culottes decorated with ribbons. Lucifer commands the Europeans and the Asians. He would appear with the form and face of a beautiful young child. When he is angry, his face is enflamed, but it is nothing monstrous. He is, according to some demonographers, a great lover of justice in hell. He is envoked first in the litanies of the sabbath.

43. Malphas, grand-president of hell, who appears in the form of a raven. When he shows himself in a human form, the sound of his voice is raucous; he builds citadels and impregnable towers, overthrows the enemies' ramparts, finds good workers, gives familiars, receives sacrifices and deceives the sacrificers; forty legions obey him.

44. Mammon, demon of avarice: it is he, says Milton, who from the first taught men to rend the breats of the earth to wrest away her treasures.

45. Marchocias, great marquis of hell. He shows himself in the guise of a ferocious she-wolf, with the wings of a griffin and a serpent's tail; under this gracious aspect the marquis vomits flames. When he takes human form, one believes that he sees a grand soldier. He obeys exorcists and the domination of angels and commands thirty legions.

46. Melchom, demon who carries the purse; he is in hell the paymaster of civil servants.

47. Moloch, prince of the land of tears, member of the infernal council. He was adored by the Ammonites under the form of a bronze statue seated on a throne of the same metal, having a calf's head surmonted with a royal crown. His arms were extended to receive human victims: one sacrificed children to him. In Milton, Moloch is a frightful and terrible demon covered with mother's tears and children's blood.
The rabbis claim that, in the interior of the statue of the famous Moloch, god of the Ammonites, one had carefully arranged sevend kinds of cabinets. One could open one for flour, another for turlte doves, a third for a ewe, a fourth for a ram, the fifth for a calf, the sixth for a beef, the seventh for a child. It is this which has given plae to confounding Moloch with Mithras and his seven mysterious gates with the seven chambers. When one wished to sacrifice children to Moloch, one lit a large fire in the interior of this statue. But in order that one could not hear the plaintive cries, his priests beat loudly on drums and other instruments around the idol.

48. Mychale, magician who drew down the Moon by the strength of her spells. She was the mother of the two famous Lapiths, Broteas and Orion.

49. Nickar or Nick. According to Scandinavian mythology, principal source of all popular beliefs of Germany and England, Odin takes the name of Nickar or Anickar when he acts as a destroyer or evil genie. Under this name and in the form of a kelpie, devil-horse of the scots, he frequents the lakes and the rivers of the Scandinavia, where he raises tempests, hurricanes and hailstorms. He is on the Isle of Rugen, in the midst of a somber lake, when its waters are troubled and whose banks are covered by thick woods, It is there that he likes to torment the fishermen and upset their boats and throw them sometimes almost to the tops of the highest fir trees. From the Scandinavian Nickar are descended the mermen and the merwomen, the nixiesof the Teutons. There are none more famous than the nymphs of the Elbe and the Gaal. Before the establishment of Christianity, the Saxons who lived around these two rivers adored a feminine divinity, whose tmple was in the city of Magdebourg or Megdeburch (city of the young lady), and who has inspired ever since a certain fear as the naiad of the Elbe. She would appear at Magdebuorg, where she would go for a walk with a basket under her arm: she was full of grace, proper, and at first glance one would take her for the daughter of a good bourgeois; but the malicious would notice a small corner of her apron that was always wet, a reminder of her aquatic origin. Among the English, the sailors call the devil, "Old Nick".

50. Nybbas, demon of an inferior order, high upper-gallery of the infernal court. He has also the management of visions and dreams. One treats him with little enough respect, regarding him as a buffoon and charlatan.

51. Orobas, high prince of the somber empire. One sees him in the form of a beautiful horse. When he appears in the form of a man, he speaks of the divine essence. Consulted, he gives responses on the past, the present, and the future. He discovers falsehood, grants favors and help, reconciles enemies, and has twenty enemies under his orders.

52. Paymon, one of the kings of hell. If he shows himself to the exorcists, it is in the form of a man riding a dromedary, crowned with a diadem encircled with precious stones, with the face of a woman. Two hundred legions, half from the order of the Angels, half from the order of the Powers, obey him. If Paymon is evoked with some sacrifice or libation, he can appear accompanied by the two great princes Bebal and Abalam.

53. Picollus, demon revered by the ancient inhabitantsof Prussia, who consecrated to him the head of a dead man and burned a tallow in his honor. This demon could be seen during the last days of important people. If one did not appease him at first, he would present himself a second time; and when one gave him the pain of appearing a third time, he could only be mollified by the effusion of human blood.
When Picollus was happy, one could hear him laughing in his temple; because he had a temple.

54. Pruflas or Busas, high prince and grand duke of the infernal empire. He shall reign in Babylon; and there he has the head of an owl. He incites discord, fans the flames of war and quarrels and reduces gentle folk to poverty; he responds profusely to all that is asked of him; he has twenty six legions under his orders.

55. Rahouart, demon who we know not. In Morality, about the evil and atingy rich, printed at Rouen, undated by Durzel, and played out to the endof the fifteenth century, SAtan has the demon Rahouart for a companion. It is in his basket that Rahouart carries the soul of the curmudgeon when he is dead.

56. Ribesal, specter whom the people of Silesia place in residence at the summit of the Risembeg. In their minds, it is he who suddenly covers this mountain with clouds and who sxcites tempests. He is the same as Robezal.

57. Ronwe, marquis and count of hell, who appears in the form of a monster; he gives his addepts knowledge of languages add the goodwill of the whole world. Nineteen hellish cohorts are under his orders.

58. Scox or Chax, duke and high marquis of hell. He has a raucous voice, a spirit carried away be falsehood; he presents himself in the form of a stork. He steals the silver in houses he possesses and returns it only at the end of twelve hundred years, if everything is still in order. He carries off horses. He executes all the commands that are given to him, when one obliges him to behave immediately, and although he promises to obey the exorcists, he doesn't always do so. He lies, if he i snot in a triangle; if, on the other hand, he is closely confined, he speaks the truth on supernatural matters. He points out hidden treasures which are not guarded by evil spirits. He commands thirty legions.

59. Stolas, high prince of hell, who appears in the form of an owl; when he takes the form of a man and shows himself before the exorcist, he teaches astronomy, and also the properties of plants, and the worth of presious stones. Twenty six legions recognize him as their general.

60. Tap or Gaap, high president and high prince of hell. He shows himself at noon when he takes human form. He commands four of the principal kings of the infernal empire. He is as powerful as Byleth. In another age, necromancerswould offer him libations and holocausts; they evoked him by means of magic spells that they said were composed by that very wise king, Solomon; this is false, because it was Cham, son of Noah, who first began the evocation of evil spirits. He was made to serve Byleth and compose an art in his name, and a book which is appreciated gently by mathematicians. One cites another book attributed to the prophets Eli and Elijah, with which Gaap is conjured by the virtue of the saints' names of God contained in the Key of Solomon.
If some exorcists know the art of Byleth, Gaap or Tap will npot be abble to support the presence of said exorcists. Gaap or Tap excites the passion of love and hatred. He has an empire over the demons submissive to the power of Amaymon. He transports very promptly men in different countries who wish to cross the abyss. He commands sixty legions.

61. Torngarsuk. The Greenlanders make neither prayer nor sacrifice nor practice any rite; they believe only in the existence of some supernatural beings. The chief and the most powerful of these being is Torngarsuk, who is invoked especially by fishermen, and whom they represent sometimes in the form of a bear, sometimes in the form of an one-armed man, and sometimes as a grand human creature at most like one of the fingers of the hand.It is before this divinity that the Anguekkoks (their medicine men) are obliged to yield to ask councel when a Greenlander falls ill. Independetly of this good spirit, who is invisible to everyone except the Anguekkok, there are others who, by the intervention of the Anguekkok, teach what one must do or ought to avoid to be happy. Each Anguekkok has in a leathern bottle a familiar spitir, whom he invokes and consults like an oracle.

62. Transport of Sorcerers. Some of them go to the sabbath flying through the air like Simon the magician and without a mount; but, in France especially, powerful witches, when they carried a child with them to the sabbath, were transported and returned to their domicileby a goat who traveled in the void like a bird.

63. Ukobach, demon of an inferior order. He always shows himself with a blazing body; one calls him the inventor of frying and fireworks. He is charged by Belzebuth with maintaining the oil in the infernal boilers.

64. Volac, high president of hell; he appears in the form of a child with the wings of an angel, mounted on a two-headed dragon. He knows the position of the planets and the lurking places of serpents. Thirty legions obey him.

65. Voyages of Sorcerers. If they go to the sabbath carried by a goat or a black sheep or by a demon, on their other excursions they generally only travel by riding on a broom-stick.

66. Wall, great and powerful duke of the somber empire; he has the form of a dromedary, tall and terrible, if he takes human form, he speaks Egyptian; he knows the present, the past, and the future; he was of the order of the POwers. Thirty six legions are under his orders.

67. Xaphan, demon of the second order. When Satan and his angels revolted against god, Xaphan joined the malcontents, and he was well received because he had an inventive spirit. He proposed that the rebels set heaven on fire; but he was thrown with the others to the depths of the abyss, where he is continually occupied with fanning the flames of the furnaces with this mouth and his hands. He has a bellows for an emblem.

68. Yan-gant-y-tan, kind of demon who wanders at night in Finistere. He carried five candles on his five fingers, and turns them with the speed of a winder. His appearance is considered an evil omen among the Bretons.

69. Zaebos, grand-cout of Hell. He has the form of a good soldier mounted on a crocodile; his head is coveed with a ducal crown. He is sweet of character.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Demonographia ~ Collin de Plancy III

28. Deumus, goddess of the inhabitants of Calicut in Malabar. This goddess, who is nothing more than a devil adored under the name of Deumus, wears a crown , has four horns on her head and four hooked teeth in her mouth which are very strong; she has a pointed and hooked nose, feet like a roaster, and hold between her claws a soul which she seems ready to devour.

29. Euronyme, superior demon, prince of death, according to several demonomaniacs. He has a huge, long teeth, a dreadful body all covered with sores and for clothing, a fox skin. The pagans knew him. Pausanians said that he fed on carrion and dead bodies. He has in the temple of Delphi a statue which shows him with a black complexion, baring his huge teeth like a famished wolf and sitting on a vulture skin.

30. Flaga. woe-working Scandinavian fairy. Some said that she was only a magician who had an eagle for riding.

31. Flauros, grand-general of hell. He was seen in the form of a terrible leopard. When he took human form, he wore a frightful face with burning eyes. He knows the past, the present and the future, raises all the demons or spirits against their enemies, the exorcists, ad commands twenty legions.

32. Forcas, knight, high president of hell; he appears in the guise of a vigorous man, with a long beard and white hair; he is mounted upon a large horse and holds a sharp-pointed dart. He knows the virtues of herbs and precious stones. He teaches logic, esthetics, chiromancy, pyromancy, and rhetoric. He can make a man invisible, ingenious and well-spoken. He can be made to find lost things; he can discover treasures, and he has under his orders twenty nine legions of demons.

33. Furfur, count of hell.He can be seen in the guise of a stag with a flaming tail; he speaks only lies, unless he be enclosed in a triangle. He often takes the form of an angel, speaks with a raucous vioce and sustains the union between hasbands and wives. He makes fall the thunderbolt, the lightning flash and the thunder groan in the places he has been oredered to do so. He responds on abstract things. Twenty six legions are under his orders.

34. Ganga-Gramma, feminine demon whom the Indians hold in great dread, and consequently to whom they offer great honors. He has a single headand fours arms; he holds a small bowl inhis left hand, and a three-pronged fork in his right. He is drawn in processions on a chariot with plenty of pomp; sometimes his fanatics were so crazed with devotion that they threw themselves under his wheels. Goats were the ordinary victims that were burned to him. In sickness or in any other danger, he was found among the Indians who took a vow to him. If they recovered, the practice of honoring Ganga-Gramma was as follows. One sank down in a skin backed with hooks, by which means one was raised in the air; there they performed sleight-of-hand and cut capers beforethe spectators. When simple and credulous women, who were persuaded that this ceremony is agreeable to Ganga-Gramma and would cause them no harm, consented, then there was no time to change their mind before they were already in the air. The cries of the assistants stifled their complaints. A kind of penitence, always in honor of this same demon, consists of letting a string pass through his chair, and to dance while the other people pull this string. The night fllowing the festival of Ganga-Gamma one sacrificed to him a buffalo whose blood had filled a vase which was placed before his image. One swears that the very next day the blood had vanished. Soe authors say that simetimes, instead of a buffalo, one immolates a human victim.

35. Garuda, fabulous bird who is often represented with the head of a handsome yong man, whith a white ring around the neck and the body of an eagle. He serves as a mount to Vishnu, like the eagle who served as a vehicle for Jupiter. The Indians tell that he was hatched from an egg his mother, Diti, had laid and brooded over five years.

36. Gomory, pwerful duke of hell; he appears in the form of a woman; he has a ducal crown on his head, and he is mounted on a camel. He responds concerning the present, the past, and the future; he can discover hidden treasures; he commands twenty six legions.

37. Haborym, fire demon, also called Aym. He carries in hell the title of duke; he rides a viper and he has hree heads; one is a serpent, the other is a man, the third a cat. He holds a flaming torch in his hand. He commands twenty six legions. Some say he is the same as Raum, but we doubt it.

38. Ippes or Apperos, prince andocunt of hell; he appears in the form of an angel, sometimes as that of a lion, with the head and feet of a goose and with a short hare's tail; he knows the past and the future, gives genius andaudacity to men, and commands thirty six legions.

39. Lamia, queen of Libya, who splits open the bellies of pregnant women to devour the fruits of their wombs. She gave her name to the «lamias» who were evil demons. They could be found in the deserts in female form with dragons' heads at the end of their feet. They also haunted cemeteries where they disinterred cadavers and ate them, leaving nothing of the dead except their bones.